Squeezebox MC Paul Barman (Ft. The Roots, ?uestlove & "Weird Al" Yankovic)

[Intro:???]
Oh my god
I cannot believe this moment is happening
But drag it out Al...

[Verse 1: MC Paul Barman]
Hot plaything, stop shaving
Pussy's not the same thing as armpits or legs
It carpets the negative space filled with eggs, where you're threadbare
"Dead air!
Where's the red hair?!"
I'd admire a firesnatch, mine's black as a briar patch
To a sold out crowd I'll yell out loud:
"Stop shaving, stop now!"
Drop trou shaving is like going home sober
If you have to, make a comb-over
Cold passion, so old fashioned
Curls got hold traction, I'm askin':
"Why do women shave off their beautiful eyebrows and retrace them in pencil?
To look like surprised clowns ?"
Their once down on the ground on all fours back then shaven cold with clogged pores
Look
Clean doesn't mean cycle oiled machine
Cleaning water with chlorine that of liquified mermaids is like raping babies in Africa to cure your A.I.D.S. and
Waging war in an attempt to fight drugs is like keeping clean a floor of white rugs because
Dirt goes deeper than at first sight
You can judge a book by it's cover when the marketing works right
Skin color's inelegant to fur stripes
Abandon ship!
You let your standards slip
A natural (whistle)
Don't look like no landing strip
What used to seem too simple now produces goosepimple