[Radio static]
VOICE IN SAMPLED RADIO PROMO: You're in the middle of another thirty minutes of continuous hit music! (Continuous!) 98.5, W-
[Radio static]
[Five-second clip of "Under the Bridge" by Red Hot Chili Peppers]
[Radio static]
[Spoken Intro]
REV. NØRB: Attention moppers, rockers, Blitzkrieg Boppers, bottle tops and bottle stoppers, soccer mommers, Cretin Hoppers, rent-a-cops, and Kmart shoppers! Prepare your boil-encrusted adolescent heinies for a new, authentic, listless, insipid, and generally scoff-enducing recreation of one of the worst Ramones albums known to man! [?] End of the Century! Yes, that's right, the LP whеrein the brothers Ramonе take that final logical step in honing and refining their black leather punk rock boogie-woogie beat via the long-overdue introduction of strings to the mix, thusly managing to cover a Ronettes tune with even less spunk and fury than Andy Kim's version
Ah, now many of you may be scratching yourself intimately at this exact second and pondering exactly how we, Boris The Sprinkler, got stuck with such a dirty old egg-suckin' dog of a Ramones album to cover. Karmic recompense, perhaps, because God is actually a long-legged, fellatio-insatiable, Asiatic female? Nay! Nay, I say thee! Nay! We got this album because we asked for it! Yes, now it can be told. Originally, the loathsome and depressing Road to Ruin album, which Todd at Clearview attempted to foist off upon us, was meant to be ours. But no! No! We were far too crafty! Far too resourceful! We were the weasels that we truly are, and we passed that lackluster piece of shit off on the Mr. T Experience, who, being from Berkeley, California, cannot be expected to know right from wrong in these circumstances! And, permission to record It's Alive --last of the real Ramones albums-- denied us, we opted for End of the Century, because you, the savvy consumer, already know it sucks, thusly avoiding the unpalatable surprises that are part and parcel of the Boris experience all too often
In any event, slap the figure-four leglock on the one you love, modify your Phil Spector detector, 'cause this is Rock 'n' Roll Radio! So c'mon, let's rock 'n' roll with Boris The Son-Of-A-Bitching Sprinkler!
Whaaaaaaaaa!
[Song Begins]
Rock and rock 'n' roll radio, let's go!
Rock and rock 'n' roll radio, let's go!
Rock and rock 'n' roll radio, let's go!
Rock and rock 'n' roll radio, let's go!
VOICE IN SAMPLED RADIO PROMO: You're in the middle of another thirty minutes of continuous hit music! (Continuous!) 98.5, W-
[Radio static]
[Five-second clip of "Under the Bridge" by Red Hot Chili Peppers]
[Radio static]
[Spoken Intro]
REV. NØRB: Attention moppers, rockers, Blitzkrieg Boppers, bottle tops and bottle stoppers, soccer mommers, Cretin Hoppers, rent-a-cops, and Kmart shoppers! Prepare your boil-encrusted adolescent heinies for a new, authentic, listless, insipid, and generally scoff-enducing recreation of one of the worst Ramones albums known to man! [?] End of the Century! Yes, that's right, the LP whеrein the brothers Ramonе take that final logical step in honing and refining their black leather punk rock boogie-woogie beat via the long-overdue introduction of strings to the mix, thusly managing to cover a Ronettes tune with even less spunk and fury than Andy Kim's version
Ah, now many of you may be scratching yourself intimately at this exact second and pondering exactly how we, Boris The Sprinkler, got stuck with such a dirty old egg-suckin' dog of a Ramones album to cover. Karmic recompense, perhaps, because God is actually a long-legged, fellatio-insatiable, Asiatic female? Nay! Nay, I say thee! Nay! We got this album because we asked for it! Yes, now it can be told. Originally, the loathsome and depressing Road to Ruin album, which Todd at Clearview attempted to foist off upon us, was meant to be ours. But no! No! We were far too crafty! Far too resourceful! We were the weasels that we truly are, and we passed that lackluster piece of shit off on the Mr. T Experience, who, being from Berkeley, California, cannot be expected to know right from wrong in these circumstances! And, permission to record It's Alive --last of the real Ramones albums-- denied us, we opted for End of the Century, because you, the savvy consumer, already know it sucks, thusly avoiding the unpalatable surprises that are part and parcel of the Boris experience all too often
In any event, slap the figure-four leglock on the one you love, modify your Phil Spector detector, 'cause this is Rock 'n' Roll Radio! So c'mon, let's rock 'n' roll with Boris The Son-Of-A-Bitching Sprinkler!
Whaaaaaaaaa!
[Song Begins]
Rock and rock 'n' roll radio, let's go!
Rock and rock 'n' roll radio, let's go!
Rock and rock 'n' roll radio, let's go!
Rock and rock 'n' roll radio, let's go!
Comments (0)
The minimum comment length is 50 characters.
Information
Users of Guests are not allowed to comment this publication.
There are no comments yet. You can be the first!