The Worry List Blue October

I'm tired, twisted, barely breathing, buried in the dark...
A could've been
Don't be concerned, that's just the power of a breaking heart...
How good am I hiding it?
Look, I've got some bad intentions; guilty as fucking charged
Still standing stable, more than able, 'cause I know who you are
I know the birthdays, anniversaries, all the first days I missed
I regret them all, but, but now I know this;

I know that God exists,I held her in my arms
I never knew I was able to ever feel this strong
Take me off your worry list, it'll be better that way
I'm really fine, and Mar, there's nothing we haven't talked about
So take me off your worry list, I said "throw it away"
Yeah, this is what my life is about
I might've been gone, but I never walked out

I've taken a thousand red eyes to change your point of view
Of what kind of man would take the trust you break
And still follow through
'Cause I'm standing right here and you may not show up
Our same gate 14 where honestly, I'm just sick of calling your bluff
And it's just embarrassing that I nearly threw up
While I'm trying hard to change the things I always screw up
And at the top of my list, this visitation is no relationship
But I've got to make the best of it, 'cause I know;