Bridge and Tunnel Authority Less Than Jake

[Verse 1]
I remember every bridge I've ever jumped off blindly
And all of my boring stories keep reminding me
'Cause in all honesty I used to be an authority on irony
And remembering my broken dreams
And everything that used to be around

[Pre-Chorus]
And it's not so complicated
To explain why these feelings faded

[Chorus]
Please pass some sanity, saint of mediocrity
And keep me out of my sobriety
14 and 23, Bridge and Tunnel Authority
Will keep me out of my sobriety

[Verse 2]
I say we just celebrate
All of my past mistakes and all my too-little-too-lates
'Cause in all honesty I used to be an authority on irony
And remembering my broken dreams
And everything that used to be around

[Pre-Chorus]
And did I forget to mention
That I've lost all my best intentions?