This Offer Is Unrepeatable Elvis Costello (Ft. The Brodsky Quartet)

Don't send any money!
Fate has no price
Ignore at your peril this splendid advice
An invaluable link in an infinite chain
An offer like this will just not come again

You wish you had women to charm and bewitch
Power of life and death over the rich
Young girls will be swooning
Because you're exciting them
And not only fall at your feet but be biting them

Guaranteed, guaranteed to capture your breath
Or possibly scare you to death
Sign it and seal it and send it to friends
Don't mention my name
Don't make any long term plans

In thirty-six hours your fortunes will change
Your best friends won't know you
And neither will strangers
Do not keep this letter
It must leave your hand
You have been selected from over five thousand

A twister and dupe will bamboozle and hoodwink you
I can't say more, it would only confuse you
The wine that they offer will go to your head
You'll start seeing double in fishes and bread