The Vampire Club Aurelio Voltaire

Well the moon was full and the color of blood
The night the pirates came to the Vampire Club
Their leader was tall and snide and slim
He looked like a gay Captain Morgan
Well he recognized a vampire from his school
He did something that was most uncool
He said "Hey everybody! See the fool in the cape?
His name is Bernie Weinstein and he's in the 8th grade!"

Fangs were flyin', capes were torn
Hell hath no fury like a Vampire's scorn
Number 1 rule in this game
Never call one by his real name
Wigs were pulled top hats were crushed
By pointy boots in a rush
And Boris at the bar orders a bud
And says "It's just another night at the Vampire club!"

Missie lost her fang in the ladie's room
We all laughed and called her Snagletooth
Dede was mad because we broke his cane
And he flushed his contacts down the drain
There was so much angst after the fight
Vlad and Akasha broke up that night
While some rivetheads danced in a puddle of goo
That used to be Father You-Know-Who!