[Verse 1]
She likes stealin' from Salvation Armies
She says it makes her feel like the movies
Battin' her eyes with a crooked smile
Wonderin' why the hell I'm pissed

This ain't like any film that I recall
It ain't exactly The Italian Job
This kinda shit is for soccer moms
Dyin' to be young again

[Chorus]
She's dancin' around the room
In a cheetah-print body-suit
Roll the credits when the scene is through
Of the story of a messed up kid

[Verse 2]
She tells me I got a problem with drinkin'
But loves going out on the weekends
Throws me the keys with a "pretty please"
And wonders if I'll drive her home

You'd think if she knew my weakness
She'd try and help me to beat it
That's why I love her so but since Roanoke
I don't take her out to shop no more
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