Mary the First Horrible Histories (Ft. Sarah Hadland)

King Henry eighth, my father
Hoped I'd have some Tudor brothers
Mum had no sons, so rather
I got plenty of step-mothers
When at last Prince Ed was born
The crown I bid adieu
They said as King he must be sworn
Boys go first in the queue
But there's no need to worry
If at first you don't succeed
When Ed died, I swept aside
The rest and was decreed

Mary the First, that's me
Tudor lady and Queen of England
Not to be confused with
Mary, Queen of Scots
Not the same, see, though weirdly
She's a cousin to me

Some tried to say Lady Jane Grey
Should be queen after Ed
But England wanted me, hooray
So poor Jane lost her head
The Protestants were saying
That my ruling made them sick
Cause when it came to praying
My tastes were Catholic
They revolted, challenged me
Fuelled my great desire
To tie three hundred to a stake
Light touch paper, then retire