Any kind of happy Ethan Jewell

Once I get out of my bed I swear
that I'll do it
Nightmares in my head take room
from dreams, I can't pursue it
Rotations of creations that I push
into my past
Because I'm infinitely too
depressed for all of this to last
I don't bother to say hi because I'd
rather be alone
And I never say goodbye whenever
I hang up the phone
Because my stupid brain gets too
attached to everyone I meet
And the ones I really love are the
ones that I can't keep
I swear it's done tomorrow, but I
know that that's a lie
And I'd tell my mom I love her, but
instead let out a sigh
Complicated ends to simple stupid
problems
And I'd let you get closer to me, but
I tie a noose too often
Because I'm too depressed, I'm far
too stressed, I'm running out of
options
I can't hear me yet, you could have
guessed, my heart is up for auction
Come quickly, quietly, or else my
brain may get afraid
Of holding on to love from my
relationships I've made
I love too far, I love too fast, my
love's run out of time
For myself, I drink, until my death,
my life's burnt down the line
I wonder if you think of me
whenever you get lonely
Because the love you gave to me
last week, I swear it wasn't phony
I'll write a note, I'll send it off with
no address attached
That way I can be certain that my
heart isn't unlatched
The wind soars fast beneath me
and I plummet through my dreams
My heart zips down, my stomach
turns, my brain rips at its seams
I don't think that I was built for any
kind of happy
Because this rotting in my bed, it
isn't romantic, and it definitely isn't
sappy