J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin Epic Rap Battles of History (Ft. EpicLLOYD & Nice Peter)

[Intro]
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN!
VERSUS!
J.R.R. TOLKIEN!
BEGIN!

[George R. R. Martin]
Brace yourself!
Gather up your trolls and your soldier Elves!
And your Ents and your Orcs and your Wargs and your Stings
Your Dwarves and Glamdrings, cause there's a new literary Lord in the Ring!
My readers fall in love with every character I've written
Then I kill 'em (Aaaahhhh!) They're like 'No! He didn't!'
All your bad guys die, and your good guys survive!
We can tell what's gonna happen by page and age five!
Tell your all-seeing eye to find some sex in your movies (Yeah)
Ditch the Goonie, and cast a couple boobies!
There’s edgier plots in that David the Gnome
Your Hobbit-hole heroes can’t handle my throne

[J.R.R. Tolkien]
Kings, queens, dragons, dwarves
Horses, fortresses, magic and swords
You Hob-bit my whole shit, you uninspired hack
You want a war, George? Welcome to Shire-raq!
In book sales you’ve got nothing to say
I’m number one and two, you’re under Fifty Shades of Grey
I’ve got the prose of a pro, your shit’s subpar
You’re a pirate, you even stole my "R.R."
Oh, we all know the world is full of chance and anarchy
So yes, it’s true-to-life for characters to die randomly
But news flash, the genre’s called fantasy
It’s meant to be unrealistic, you myopic manatee