Channel 5: The Musical Bo Burnham

Tonight at 10
The world is ending again
And we know why and when
So you better watch
We got a bit with some feminist chick
And also a picture of a starlet's crotch!
Two people died, a double homicide
Their bodies found inside
Of a wishing well
And we tackle the flaws
In these obesity laws
In this segment that's sponsored
By Taco Bell

We've got violence, danger, sex, and drugs
And it's awesome cause all of it's real!
We do the illusion of news and while you think you're choosing the views
That you feel...
All of this and more and live
Only on the Channel 5 News!
Only on the Channel 5 News!

(Spoken)
We've got Chip Walker, live at the scene, with breaking news! Chip are you there?

(Sung)
Chip Walker here
Am I coming in clear?
I'm standing near
To the scene of the crime
This Iraqi guy's shop
Seemed a newsworthy spot
So we've been gathering shots here for quite some time
Today, real fast
The owner's daughter passed
We grabbed a shot of her ass
While the owner was near
Then he struck my chest
And now he's under arrest
And now you people have one less
Man to fear