Uncle Raven’s Storytime Theatre: Never Never Land Paul Shapera (Ft. Lauren Osborn, Psyche Chimere & Psyche Corporation)

[Raven] (spoken):
Good morning, children. What shall we do today?

[Children] (over each other):
A story! A story, Uncle Raven!

[Raven]:
A story? Oh alright, let me just pour myself a dash of scotch here and we’ll get started

[pours out the entire fucking bottle]

There we go! Today’s story shall be a tale from the first playhouse, Never Never Land

[Herr Doktor]:
Now, Raven...

[Raven]:
Yes, Doctor?

[Herr Doktor]:
You must tell me about when you were a wee little Raveling!

[Raven]:
Oh, alright. [clears throat] Once upon a time, your kindly Uncle Raven had another name and just a squiggle of mental health issues. I worked for a large corporation in a far-off city and one day, I did what most people with day jobs only dream of doing - I jumped off a cliff!
But your dear Uncle Raven was flowering, so I actually leapt into the metaverse. I didn’t really know or understand it. I figured either I had accidentally ingested a really heroic dose or gone completely around the bend