[Verse 1: Mark Douglas]
Now and then we like to play one guitar together
And that's convenient since we only have the one
Tony sold our other instruments
To pay some gangsters but he's still in debt
And if they catch him he will surely be dismembered

[Verse 2: Mark Douglas]
Tony is addicted to wide array of narcotics
He says they help him write but we're a cover band
I'm not sure why we keep him in the band
Maybe it's because he drives the van
The rest of us can only drive an automatic

[Chorus: Todd Womack]
This used to just be my guitar
Now Dave is banging on it like he's fucking Tito Puente
We all look sad because we're starved
Tonight for dinner we're splitting a candy bar

We are the poorest band in the world
We have to act like we are camping but we're really homeless
And I don't even own this voice
We had to borrow it from Peter Gabriel
Don't you know you gotta shock the monkey
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