I Laugh at Myself Blue October

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This is the part where I laugh at myself
And the world for thinking that things could actually change
Just like the old me you knew once before who
Almost destroyed and lost everything to this same damn thing

I'm once again in my head, I'm way over my head
And I can't seem to find a place to put all this pain
My hope is a fraud and I can't talk to God
I believed in the good of the world and now I'm just ashamed

I want to drink 'cause I'm mad and I'm angry but I swore
I promised my wife that I wouldn't drink again
There were so many chances I had that I wasted
As time went on by that were never to be seen again
And I never felt bad or guilty about moving on with my life
But I could never move on from you in the end
So I fight for love, come on break my heart