The Fire Sermon Senses Fail

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Today is the anniversary of the day that you should have been born
Nobody ever taught me healthy habits or how to mourn
Standing by the ocean I have waited with your ashes scattering
I'm throwing salt into the sea
The burden of your death like a boulder on my chest
A wet blanket keeping just warm enough to stay alive but still suffering

Emptiness is all I can feel
There's nothing in this world that feels real
I cannot stop obsessive thoughts fixated on what I have lost
How will I ever learn to heal?

The birds still sing in the cemеtery and the flowers still bloom
How do I bury somеone that I never even got to know
I will circle myself in salt and incense to preserve this sense of fleeting innocence
I just want my mental health to be my greatest wealth
I don't ever want to be this low again

Emptiness is all I can feel
There's nothing in this world that feels real
I cannot stop obsessive thoughts fixated on what I have lost
How will I ever learn to heal?

I try so hard to not be aware that everyone I love can disappear
I hear footsteps in the night, I swear I see your face
I clutch the clothes that we bought for you that you'll never wear