Boat Train The Pogues

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[Verse 1]
I met with Napper Tandy and I shook him by the hand
He said, "Hold me up, for Chrissake, for I can hardly stand"
The most disgraceful journey on which I've ever been
The last time that I traveled on the boat train

[Verse 2]
I had a couple of drinks in town, a few more in the port
Puked up on the gangway but some kind folks helped me board
Sat me at a table, poured whiskey down my throat
Sat me at a table and I lost my watch and coat

[Chorus 1]
First we drank some whiskey, then we had some gin
Then we had tequila, I think that's what did me in
Then we had some brandy and the women had a dance
The steward then announced that we could play the game of chance

[Verse 3]
We crowded 'round the table with our money in our hands
I landed on the other side without a penny in my pants
Woke up in the toilet when we got to Holyhead
The doors were all a-banging and I wished that I was dead

[Chorus 2]
Then we went through customs, a couple of credited thugs
First they looked for bombs and guns, then they looked for drugs
Stuck a flashlight up my ass, told some Irish jokes
Said, "Fuck off now, Paddy" so I headed for the smoke
On the boat train