[Verse 1]
It all started last week when I went on a date
She was beautiful, blonde hair, I picked her up at 8
I decided to take her to a magic show
My mom said I shouldn't, but what does she know?
"A lobster for my lady friend, cooked extra nice
And some amaretto afterward would be just right
Thank you, garcon, this is gonna be magnificent
Oh, the lights went down, time for the entertainment"
The magician took the stage and sawed a lady in half
I could see her legs, so fake, made me laugh!
Then they asked for a volunteer from the audience
I hid my face - no way, leave me out of it!
Next thing I know, my girl is volunteering for me
She tells me she thinks "Men on stage are very sexy!"
So I play along, and go up on stage
Hoping the stunt will get me... you know!
[Verse 2]
So now they want to hypnotize me
They'll ring a bell, and I'll cluck like a turkey
I say "Yeah right! Do your best!
This whole thing's faker than Pam Anderson's chest!"
Big laugh from the audience, they loved that joke
Then appeared the hypnotist in a cloud of smoke
"At the count of three and the sound of a bell
You'll close your eyes and be under my spell"
"Ready, here we go, one, two, three, ding!"
I opened my eyes and... nothing!
But wherever I looked, the crowd wouldn't stop laughing
What had I done to elicit this reaction?
Now hold on, y'all, this is the beginning of our story
And I promise later on, it's gonna get gory
So parents, grab your kids, and tuck them off into bed
Because I think I might have killed the President!
It all started last week when I went on a date
She was beautiful, blonde hair, I picked her up at 8
I decided to take her to a magic show
My mom said I shouldn't, but what does she know?
"A lobster for my lady friend, cooked extra nice
And some amaretto afterward would be just right
Thank you, garcon, this is gonna be magnificent
Oh, the lights went down, time for the entertainment"
The magician took the stage and sawed a lady in half
I could see her legs, so fake, made me laugh!
Then they asked for a volunteer from the audience
I hid my face - no way, leave me out of it!
Next thing I know, my girl is volunteering for me
She tells me she thinks "Men on stage are very sexy!"
So I play along, and go up on stage
Hoping the stunt will get me... you know!
[Verse 2]
So now they want to hypnotize me
They'll ring a bell, and I'll cluck like a turkey
I say "Yeah right! Do your best!
This whole thing's faker than Pam Anderson's chest!"
Big laugh from the audience, they loved that joke
Then appeared the hypnotist in a cloud of smoke
"At the count of three and the sound of a bell
You'll close your eyes and be under my spell"
"Ready, here we go, one, two, three, ding!"
I opened my eyes and... nothing!
But wherever I looked, the crowd wouldn't stop laughing
What had I done to elicit this reaction?
Now hold on, y'all, this is the beginning of our story
And I promise later on, it's gonna get gory
So parents, grab your kids, and tuck them off into bed
Because I think I might have killed the President!
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