
Substitute Teacher Key & Peele
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[Mr. Garvey]
All right, listen up y’all. I’m your substitute teacher Mr. Garvey, I taught school for 20 years in the inner city, so don’t even think about messing with me. You all feel me?
Okay, let’s take the roll here. Jakequaline, where’s Jakequaline at? No Jakequaline here? Yeah?
[Jacqueline]
Uh, do you mean, Jacqueline?
[Mr. Garvey]
Okay, so that’s how it’s going to be, you all want to play, okay then; I got my eye on you Jakequaline. Balakay, where is Balakay at? No, Balakay here today? Yes, sir?
[Blake]
My name is Blake.
[Mr. Garvey]
Are you out of your God damn mind? Blake? What? Do you want to go to war Balakay?
[Blake]
No.
[Mr. Garvey]
Because we couldn’t go to war?
[Blake]
No.
[Mr. Garvey]
I’m for real, I’m for real, so you better check yourself.
De-nice, is there a De-nice? If one of y’all say some silly ass name, this whole class is going to feel my wrath, now De-nice?
All right, listen up y’all. I’m your substitute teacher Mr. Garvey, I taught school for 20 years in the inner city, so don’t even think about messing with me. You all feel me?
Okay, let’s take the roll here. Jakequaline, where’s Jakequaline at? No Jakequaline here? Yeah?
[Jacqueline]
Uh, do you mean, Jacqueline?
[Mr. Garvey]
Okay, so that’s how it’s going to be, you all want to play, okay then; I got my eye on you Jakequaline. Balakay, where is Balakay at? No, Balakay here today? Yes, sir?
[Blake]
My name is Blake.
[Mr. Garvey]
Are you out of your God damn mind? Blake? What? Do you want to go to war Balakay?
[Blake]
No.
[Mr. Garvey]
Because we couldn’t go to war?
[Blake]
No.
[Mr. Garvey]
I’m for real, I’m for real, so you better check yourself.
De-nice, is there a De-nice? If one of y’all say some silly ass name, this whole class is going to feel my wrath, now De-nice?
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