Thirty Miles From the Banks of the Ohio / Look Who’s Here Liz McCartney, Kate Wetherhead, Rebecca Naomi Jones & Santino Fontana

[SYLVIA, spoken]
Eliot, where are you calling from? Any landmarks? Give me a clue!

[ELIOT]
Thirty miles from the banks of the Ohio
I am standing on a bare and lonely street
In a town where the economy's depressing
And the people are completely obsolete

Oh, the railroad hasn't run through here for ages
And the factories are automated, too
So the pretty people leave this town at twenty
As does anyone with much of an IQ

Now there's no one thirty miles from the Ohio
But the folks for whom this country doesn't grieve
No, there's no one thirty miles from the Ohio
But the people so plain helpless they can't leave

In the center of this town there sits a mansion
It's my father's legal residence, I hear
But because my dad is in the U.S. Senate
He resides here just one week in every year

We're about to throw those mansion doors wide open
Pry the boards off all the windows, tear 'em down
We're about to be the friends and brand-new neighbors
Of the poor forgotten folks of this old town