The Auctioneer Steve Goodman

Now there was a boy in Arkansas
And he wouldn't listen to his ma
When she told him that he ought to go to school
He'd sneak away in the afternoon
And he'd take a little walk and pretty soon
You'd find him at the local auction barn
He'd stand and listen carefully
Then pretty soon he began to see
How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly
He said, "Oh my it's do or die
I've got to learn that auction cry
Gotta make my mark and be an auctioneer"

25 dollar 30 now 30 dollar 30 dollar
30 dollar 30 dollar give me a hollar 30 dollar
Who will bid it at a 35 dollar bid?
35 dollar 35 35 make it 35 and a 35 make it 35 and a 35
Who will bid it at a 35 dollar bid?

Now time went on and he didn't rest
And everybody saw that he didn't jest
He practiced calling bids every night and day
His daddy'd find him out behind the barn
He'd be workin up an awful storm
He tried to imitate the auctioneer
And dad said "Son we can't stand
To have a mediocre man
Selling things at auction using our good name
Now I'll send you off to the auction school
And then you'll be nobody's fool
And you can take your place among the best"