Got No Beard The Longest Johns

[Verse 1]
I once met a man who said he was a fan
He wanted to sing in my shanty band
But the bottom of his face looked weird (SO WEIRD!)
There was skin on his chin that I loathed and feared
From his crown to ear he was most sincere
But you can't sing shanties if you got no beard!

[Chorus]
Got no beard, you've got no beard!
You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard!
Got no beard, you've got no beard!
You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard!

[Verse 2]
I once met a girl who heard sea songs
She came to the show and she sung along
But her timing with the shout was slow (SO SLOW!)
She was graced with a face like the morning glow
But a holler was a blow from the very front row said:
You can't sing shanties if you can't shout: 'HO'!

[Chorus]
Can't shout 'ho!', can't shout 'ho!'
You can't sing shanties if you can't shout: 'ho'!
Can't shout 'ho!', can't shout 'ho!'
You can't sing shanties if you can't shout: 'ho'!
And you've got no beard!