[Verse 1: Apollonia]
Late in my early teenage
I was considered fast
While some of the girls were failing
I passed in every class
Our principal's name was Christian
And I played upon his fears
In exchange for my diploma
I loved him through the years
[Chorus: All]
Happy birthday, Mr. Christian
What are we gonna do?
You want a teenage pastime
I want a love that's true
A man in your position
You oughta be ashamed
Happy birthday, Mr. Christian
Why can't you live up to your name?
[Verse 2: Apollonia & All]
It was only the first semester
But my body developed quick
Compared to the size of my chest then
All the other girls looked sick
Mr. Christian stared at me always
Desire turned to pain
I suggested we go to his office
And that's when the lunch bell rang
Late in my early teenage
I was considered fast
While some of the girls were failing
I passed in every class
Our principal's name was Christian
And I played upon his fears
In exchange for my diploma
I loved him through the years
[Chorus: All]
Happy birthday, Mr. Christian
What are we gonna do?
You want a teenage pastime
I want a love that's true
A man in your position
You oughta be ashamed
Happy birthday, Mr. Christian
Why can't you live up to your name?
[Verse 2: Apollonia & All]
It was only the first semester
But my body developed quick
Compared to the size of my chest then
All the other girls looked sick
Mr. Christian stared at me always
Desire turned to pain
I suggested we go to his office
And that's when the lunch bell rang
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