This Is What We Find Ian Dury and the Blockheads

(spoken)
Morning Reg, meat and two veg? He done him with a ten-pound sledge, he done himself a favour Crash!

Forty-year old housewife Mrs Elizabeth Walk of Lambeth Walk
Had a husband who was jubblified with only half a stalk
So she had a Milk of Magnesia and curry powder sandwich, half a pound of uncut pork
Took an overdose of Omo, this made the neighbours talk

(spoken)
Could have been watching Frankie Vaughn on the telly and giving herself a scratch

(Chorus)
This is what we find (x 4)
A sense of humour is required, amongst the bacon rind

(spoken)
Hello Brian, wash and iron? Try it on, it's only nylon

Single batchelor with little dog Tony Green of Turnham Green
Said 'who's a clever boy then girl, now you know whom I mean'
For the mongrel laid a cable in the sandpit of the playground of the park where they had been
And with a bit of tissue, he wiped its bumhole clean

(spoken)
A bit of claggy on the waggy