Fine, I’m Fine Chonny Jash

Alright!
Fuckin' fine
If you want, then I can finally admit it
It took, what, almost twenty-three years?
Of doubt, and fear, and all that bullshit
I've hidden behind this screen, with a referential, blackened sheen
I've poured my heart out dry to keep the sadness pristine
But for the first time in this whole damn life that's been thrown at me
I think I might actually be happy

It's been a while, so let me be myself, complete and sincere
This is the first fair night in a long, long time spent drunk, but not bookended by tears
The grin I wear is real and it crawls from ear to ear
The one place I'd like to be most is right damn here

I've got good friends I can trust and lean on
Though I've not had to use them yet
Their company is an end to outlie the means
On the bell curve inside my head
I've got more than I could ever expect
And not one has effected a way to end my respect yet
The list of hit/miss ratios shows that they're all a sure-shot bet

So the stakes I've placed on a losing race
Are a fallacy of sanity and a couple of mates
I do what I want and I can afford to eat?
I mean, fuck me, mate, what more do you need?
I cannot pretend anymore that this life can still be beat