[Verse 1]
Here's one of the two of us
In 1954
Don't laugh I keep all of the pictures
Are you going to take a photograph?
Here's something nice for you
A dear old thing came to a show
Last time here we did
An interview on local radio
[Pre-Chorus]
Make yourself at home my darling
Come on in
Hand me down that jar love
Can I offer you a gin?
[Verse 2]
We're proud to be the oldest
Ugly sisters in variety
There's not the glamour now
You see, what happened to society?
There's another light bulb gone
They don't all answer to the switch
I don't know how we carry on
And her, she couldn't care, the bitch
Here's one of the two of us
In 1954
Don't laugh I keep all of the pictures
Are you going to take a photograph?
Here's something nice for you
A dear old thing came to a show
Last time here we did
An interview on local radio
[Pre-Chorus]
Make yourself at home my darling
Come on in
Hand me down that jar love
Can I offer you a gin?
[Verse 2]
We're proud to be the oldest
Ugly sisters in variety
There's not the glamour now
You see, what happened to society?
There's another light bulb gone
They don't all answer to the switch
I don't know how we carry on
And her, she couldn't care, the bitch
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