The sweet pretty things are in bed now, of course
The city fathers they're trying to endorse
The reincarnation of Paul Revere's horse
But the town has no need to be nervous
The ghost of Belle Starr, she hands down her wits
To Jezebel, the nun, she violently knits
A bald wig for Jack, the ripper, who sits
At the head of the chamber of commerce
Mama's in the factory, she ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley, he's lookin' for food
And I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues
The hysterical bride in the penny arcade
Screaming she moans, "I've just been made"
Then sends out for the doctor who pulls down the shade
And says, "My advice is to not let the boys in"
Now, the medicine man comes and he shuffles inside
He walks with a swagger and he says to the bride
"Stop all that weeping and swallow your pride
You will not die, it's not poison"
Well John, the Baptist, after torturing a thief
Looks up at his hero, the Commander-in-Chief
Saying, "Tell me great hero but please make it brief
Is there a hole for me to get sick in?"
The city fathers they're trying to endorse
The reincarnation of Paul Revere's horse
But the town has no need to be nervous
The ghost of Belle Starr, she hands down her wits
To Jezebel, the nun, she violently knits
A bald wig for Jack, the ripper, who sits
At the head of the chamber of commerce
Mama's in the factory, she ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley, he's lookin' for food
And I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues
The hysterical bride in the penny arcade
Screaming she moans, "I've just been made"
Then sends out for the doctor who pulls down the shade
And says, "My advice is to not let the boys in"
Now, the medicine man comes and he shuffles inside
He walks with a swagger and he says to the bride
"Stop all that weeping and swallow your pride
You will not die, it's not poison"
Well John, the Baptist, after torturing a thief
Looks up at his hero, the Commander-in-Chief
Saying, "Tell me great hero but please make it brief
Is there a hole for me to get sick in?"
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