[Jack]
Ann is angry, Bob is bad
Helen is hateful, Sam is sad
I'm in love, love is bliss
How many times do we kiss?

One, two, three, four
Maybe yes and maybe no
Five, six, seven, eight

Ann's still angry, Bob's still pissed
Helen's still hateful, and Sam's still missed
I'm in love, and love is sad
How many times have you had it bad?

One, two, three, four
Maybe yes, but maybe no
Five, six, seven, eight
Maybe yes but maybe so

Everything is pickles and gin
Everything is how it's always been
Everything's a bounced back sin
Everything is!

Neve fell into a river, Pam cried herself a stream
Brian sewed himself a corset, won't you help me count the seams?
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