Nina Noël Coward

(as Performed at Las Vegas)

Senorita Nina, from Argentina, knew all the answers
Although her relatives and friends were perfect dancers
She swore she'd never dance a step until she died

She said, "I've seen too many movies
And all they prove is
Too idiotic
They all insist that South America's exotic
Whereas it couldn't be more boring if it tried. "

She added firmly that she hated
The sound of soft guitars beside a still lagoon
She also positively stated
That she could not abide a Southern moon

She said with most refreshing candor
That she thought Carmen Miranda
Was subversive propaganda
And should rapidly be shot
She said she didn't care a jot
If people quoted her or not

She refused to Begin The Beguine when they requested it
And she made an embarrassing scene if anyone suggested it
For she detested it