Freelance Fireworks Hall of Fame Rhett and Link

Bobby taught us by example
Not to look down a Roman candle when you light it
He lost his right eye, but you know

He's a better looking guy without it

And that jumbo bottle rocket Don lit in his pocket
Would've flew if it weren't for his beltloop
We were listening to Elvis when it shattered his pelvis
But it was cool 'cause it blew right at the end of Don't Be Cruel

This song is for all our pyrotechnical heroes
What they lacked in discretion they made up in combustion
The ones who lit the fuse and wound up dead, injured, or lame
We salute you
The fallen founding fathers of the Freelance Fireworks Hall of Fame

But the best has got to be Bill's ingenuity
With a man-size rocket, duct tape, and a lawn chair
Well, he did good, I reckon
He rode a full eight seconds without spilling one drop of his beer

This song is for all our pyrotechnical heroes
Risking mutilation all for detonation
They ignited the firestorm, now we fan the flame
And we salute you
The fallen founding fathers of the Freelance Fireworks Hall of Fame