CNR "Weird Al" Yankovic

Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man
The kind of man you'd never disrespect
He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses
And he had a third nipple on the back of his neck
He ate his own weight in coal, and excreted diamonds everyday
He could throw you down a flight of stairs
But you still would love him anyway
Yeah, you know you'd love him anyway

Charles Nelson Reilly won the Tour de France
With two flat tires and a missing chain
He trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry
I'm telling you the man was insane
He could rip out your beating heart
And show it to you right before you died
Every day he'd make the host of Match Game
Give him a piggyback ride
Yeah, two hour piggyback ride, giddy up Gene

Ninja warrior, master of disguise
He could melt your brain with his laser-beam eyes
Oh yeah
Oh yeah
He had his very own line at the DMV
He made sweet, sweet love to a manatee
Oh yeah
Oh yeah, that was something to see, I tell ya