Love Is... Bo Burnham

Uhm, so this next song is about love, appropriately

I love you like kings love queens
Like a gay geneticist loves designer genes
I need you like New Orleans needs a drought
Like Hitler's father needed to learn to pull out

And I want you, yeah
Like a lawyer-slash-mathematician wants some kind of proof
And I want you, yeah
Like JFK wanted
A car with a roof

Because love is taking that dive
Then getting really comfortable and peeing in the pool
And love is a real-life porn
Minus all the stuff that makes porn cool

And love is a homeless guy, searching for treasure in the middle of the rain and
Finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate and
Even though he's heartbroken, he can't complain cause he was hungry in the first place

Because I love you like Dora loves maps
Like the Pope's toilet loves holy craps. (Just's a little one.)
I need you like a voyeur needs a branch
Like boys tossing salad need a little bit of Neverland Ranch