You’re Fired Upchurch

[Intro]
Caree-caree-caree-careers are fixin' to go right down the drain
OG's I'm so scared
I think I just fake shit my pants
Oh yeah
Church Church Church Church

[Verse]
This dudes gon' end my career, damn son that's comedy gold
Your voice sounds like you just ate a cactus, and you're eighty years old
I listened to your last song and I thought I got a concussion
'Cause the shit I was hearin' just didn't translate to nothin'
(Daisy me chow oh in orderin')
This dude sounds like a microwave is startin' to melt
My coffee pot could make a song and get more iTunes sales
And I remember when I met you and I rode in your truck
You said the fans we had looked at us like we was gods or somethin'
Like what? Like how fuckin' sociopath are you bro
Like, nobody looks at us as gods
That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my motherfuckin' life
You need to set the fuck down somewhere (Ahh)
(Um, on this new album I've got uh Upchurch the Redneck)
You didn't get me for shit, you paid me good and you know it
So I could fix your shit track and make that shit mediocre
The only reason I did it was to be nice and do a favor
Now you're drunk as piss at shows talkin' smack like a hater
(When they really ain't shit)
Ain't shit, won't be shit, you can't sit with me and my friends bitch
You runnin' around on the microphones with a fake ass Tennessee accent
I got more fans in your hometown then you'll probably get in the next four years
You must be drunk tryin' to beef with me, I just shotgunned like four beers
And I'm still on the beat so clean and crisp, still hit the notes like Justin Bieber
Still go Slim Shady on a fuckin' track like a hockey mask and a meat cleaver
Funny thing is, I ain't mad either, I'm just havin' a damn good time
But the biggest song that you ever had was the one old Churchman featured on
And I mean it's doin' decent numbers, sittin' on a cute little 2.9
Nothin' compared to my "Rolling Stoned", I got them songs that'll get you high
But you're gonna need a really tall ladder to get up onto my level, bro
You tryin' to catch up to me is like a fat guy on a treadmill, bro
Huffin' and puffin' like you the Big Bad Wolf
More like a fuckin' Shih Tzu owned by a chick with one tooth
Yeah you stay raisin' your voice but I stay raisin' the bar
You're like Church, "Can you lower it? I can't reach that far"
And I ain't never dissed nobody, you're the victim that's first
Go cash that Google check you got and buy your next album a hearse
Your talent levels lower than the fuckin' crust of the Earth
So stop at Lowe's and buy a shovel for your projects before
You can also buy a mop, yeah a bucket for sure
Next year I'll give you a job moppin' my studio floors
But I'm gonna have to start you out at like 5.50 an hour
You gotta prove to me that you actually do have some sort of work ethic
After this momo ass cracker hears this he'll probably make a status
"I swear to god man, I'm gonna kick Upchurch's ass"
Son I couldn't touch you if I wanted, I'm worth too much cash
You want to settle somethin' faggot, get your ass on a track
But chances are that I'm too busy, yeah I'm a grown ass man
I got bills, a fuckin' company, sold out shows for my fans
And if this diss was two years old I'd tell you pull up your pants
'Cause you are such a gangsta right? That's what YouTube says
Yeah you done woke up the bull and my horns are lookin' too sharp
You're messin' with the legend don't get goin' fed to the sharks
Yeah you might live in the sticks but only livin' off bark
I mean nutrition from the trees if you didn't catch that part
Bro