[Verse 1: The Cat in the Hat and Book Narrator]
So I gotta square up against a mutt in a rap?
Well the Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That!
I know some good games we can play! ...said the Cat!
So take your show and shove it straight up your PB-asS!
There's no dissin' this super fundiferous feline!
And I don't got a contract to promise you'll be fine!
But you're worse at hostin' that you are at rappin'!
Bud, you gotta stop trying to make FETCH! happen!
Look at me! Look at me! Look at me now!
It's fun to rap battle, but you don't know how!
I'm the big screen book-slinging reading savant
You make non-profit schlock in a gaudy garage
I can hold up this cup and my author's estate
Two shows and a musical, the fish on a rake
Another movie on the way and that is not all
So c'mon Ruff! I'd love to see you FETCH! deez balls
[Verse 2: Ruff Ruffman and Kids]
Funny offer, but following up is complicated...
You and I both know that you'vе been surgically emasculated!
It's tough, but you've gotta know I'm callin' your bluff, man!
That's еnough, you don't wanna get Rough with Ruffman!
I'm on the way to fame! What you won is a doozy!
Literally the Worst Excuse for An Actual Movie
I'm raw doggin' it pussycat, you're screwed!
You're D. I. R. T., and I'm cleaning the floor with you!
I teach science and math! You're an atrocity!
So just wait 'til these kids get curiosity!
I can tell you wanna die in every hollow scene
I'm less scared of a Myers in Halloween!
That's right! It's time for the halftime quiz!
Which of us is the host that'll traumatize kids?
Who's the loser who barged through the door
And is about to get sent to the city morgue!
The Cat! Correct! Ten points! Woohoo!
This ass kicking's funded by Viewers Like You!
So grab your prize from the box as I bid you farewell
That's right, Cat! You've won a Little Cat L!
So I gotta square up against a mutt in a rap?
Well the Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That!
I know some good games we can play! ...said the Cat!
So take your show and shove it straight up your PB-asS!
There's no dissin' this super fundiferous feline!
And I don't got a contract to promise you'll be fine!
But you're worse at hostin' that you are at rappin'!
Bud, you gotta stop trying to make FETCH! happen!
Look at me! Look at me! Look at me now!
It's fun to rap battle, but you don't know how!
I'm the big screen book-slinging reading savant
You make non-profit schlock in a gaudy garage
I can hold up this cup and my author's estate
Two shows and a musical, the fish on a rake
Another movie on the way and that is not all
So c'mon Ruff! I'd love to see you FETCH! deez balls
[Verse 2: Ruff Ruffman and Kids]
Funny offer, but following up is complicated...
You and I both know that you'vе been surgically emasculated!
It's tough, but you've gotta know I'm callin' your bluff, man!
That's еnough, you don't wanna get Rough with Ruffman!
I'm on the way to fame! What you won is a doozy!
Literally the Worst Excuse for An Actual Movie
I'm raw doggin' it pussycat, you're screwed!
You're D. I. R. T., and I'm cleaning the floor with you!
I teach science and math! You're an atrocity!
So just wait 'til these kids get curiosity!
I can tell you wanna die in every hollow scene
I'm less scared of a Myers in Halloween!
That's right! It's time for the halftime quiz!
Which of us is the host that'll traumatize kids?
Who's the loser who barged through the door
And is about to get sent to the city morgue!
The Cat! Correct! Ten points! Woohoo!
This ass kicking's funded by Viewers Like You!
So grab your prize from the box as I bid you farewell
That's right, Cat! You've won a Little Cat L!
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