Eight Ball Blues Steve Goodman

Well I wish I had some memories
That'd keep inside my trunk
I wish I had a nickel for every beer I've drunk
And I wish I had me a sailing ship
That'd take me over the sea
I wish I could talk you in to coming home with me

Is this the part where I came in
I've heard this song before
Had a couple too many
But I think I can find the door
And I do not know your name my friend
But I've seen that face before
Well I saw it in the Jail House
And I saw in the war
And I saw it in my mirror
A couple of times before

I wish I was the Candyman
Sweet as I could be
In every town the ladies hang 'round
Just to get a taste of me
I wish I was an opry star
Or had me a PhD
I wish I had the common sense
To be satisfied with me