[Verse 1: Santa Claus (Chase Beck)]
I'm dropping off some gifts before you start the apocalypse
'Cause Ol' Saint Nick don't play with H-E-double hockey sticks
Deceiving all the humans that you're so below
So I'll clean the Garden of Eden up like a hoe, hoe, hoe!
You were given all of Heaven's beauty, so what did you lose it for?
Let's make Lucifer a few trimmers so he can lose the fur
Staged rebellion 'cause you weren't cared for like God?
Gambled your future with those snake eyes and your pair of dice lost
When I'm inside chimeneys, surrounded in smoke
I may be high on rooftops, but I can smell you're brim-stoned (Brim-stoned!)
So like it's a church, I'll be confessing the truth
When all it takes to vanquish your sin is to step in a booth
And you're the bringer of light? Say that reminds me
I got a job for your bottom at the top of my pinetree
You specialise in phoney scams. I specialise in long letters
They tell me you're not a villain, you're just a call centre (Hah!)
[Verse 2: Satan (Freshy Kanal)]
It's the path of Satan that you've crossed with
Check Faust's contract, see how I deal with Clauses (Oh, yeah)
I fell from the heavens and got a new life
You fell from a roof... and fucking died
Worship me you sad hoax spread at Christmas time
I was made to rule over you; I'm the prince of lies
You're not made to guide a human through their childhood
'Cause they don't know if you exist; they just fear that I could
There's no visit if your parents don't have bucks to spend
Swig a glass of milk, 'cause you're favouring the 1%
You witness struggle and then step away
Tiny Tim won't walk when you're handing him a candy cane
Spying on resting children; you're always watching
Must be a treat to stuff your nights with Christmas "stalking"
Everything about you is a scheme to net dough
Led by a red nose, fitting when you represent Coke
It's boxing day, when they punch the clock just to not get paid
And I'm the snake, yet Claus escaped on his sleigh when the audits came
How awful, I'll offer a proper wage and gold benefits
Sign here, it'll be your last will and Old Testament
I'm dropping off some gifts before you start the apocalypse
'Cause Ol' Saint Nick don't play with H-E-double hockey sticks
Deceiving all the humans that you're so below
So I'll clean the Garden of Eden up like a hoe, hoe, hoe!
You were given all of Heaven's beauty, so what did you lose it for?
Let's make Lucifer a few trimmers so he can lose the fur
Staged rebellion 'cause you weren't cared for like God?
Gambled your future with those snake eyes and your pair of dice lost
When I'm inside chimeneys, surrounded in smoke
I may be high on rooftops, but I can smell you're brim-stoned (Brim-stoned!)
So like it's a church, I'll be confessing the truth
When all it takes to vanquish your sin is to step in a booth
And you're the bringer of light? Say that reminds me
I got a job for your bottom at the top of my pinetree
You specialise in phoney scams. I specialise in long letters
They tell me you're not a villain, you're just a call centre (Hah!)
[Verse 2: Satan (Freshy Kanal)]
It's the path of Satan that you've crossed with
Check Faust's contract, see how I deal with Clauses (Oh, yeah)
I fell from the heavens and got a new life
You fell from a roof... and fucking died
Worship me you sad hoax spread at Christmas time
I was made to rule over you; I'm the prince of lies
You're not made to guide a human through their childhood
'Cause they don't know if you exist; they just fear that I could
There's no visit if your parents don't have bucks to spend
Swig a glass of milk, 'cause you're favouring the 1%
You witness struggle and then step away
Tiny Tim won't walk when you're handing him a candy cane
Spying on resting children; you're always watching
Must be a treat to stuff your nights with Christmas "stalking"
Everything about you is a scheme to net dough
Led by a red nose, fitting when you represent Coke
It's boxing day, when they punch the clock just to not get paid
And I'm the snake, yet Claus escaped on his sleigh when the audits came
How awful, I'll offer a proper wage and gold benefits
Sign here, it'll be your last will and Old Testament
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