My Unfortunate Erection (Chip’s Lament) William Finn (Ft. Jose Llana)

[CHIP, spoken]
Fritos! M&M’s? Oreos! All for one dollar!

(sung)
It is tradition
That the person eliminated
From the competition
Is fair-game for derision
Especially the alpha-male
Who'll sell goodies at the bake sale
Anyone for brownies?
Anyone for choc'late chips?
Anyone for anything that isn’t dated?

How could I
Have been
Elim-
Inated?

You wanna know how?
You wanna know how?
You wanna know why?

My unfortunate erection
Is destroying my perfection
It is my recollection
That everything I once did
I did perfectly