Bertie Ahern Rubberbandits

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My Mam has a new man called
He has a denim jacket and electric windows in his car
My Mam has a new man called
He has a keyring of a woman with tits and it says 'Barcelona' on it
My Mam has a new man called
He is friends with the fella on the radio

My Mam has a new man called Bertie Ahern
Me and him and Mam went fetching, we couldn't find shoes for Mam so she went in her feet
My Mam has a new man called Bertie Ahern
She asked me if it would be okay if he stayеd over
I said that was okay and we watched a vidеo

My best friend is called Patrick, I am older than him
But he is bigger than me (He's my best friend)
My Mam has a new man called Bertie Ahern
I saw him rub her bum, she saw me see
And he hasn't been over for nearly one week now

My Mam has a new man called Bertie Ahern
He can push a fag inside his ear and pull it out his mouth
My Mam has a new man called Bertie Ahern
He has a piece of hosepipe under his car seat with black Sellotape on the end

One day I kicked Patrick in the bollocks
And Mam got angry, so angry
And Bertie Ahern told me I shouldn't do that
I told him to fuck off, and then we both started laughing