Slowly and Painfully Happy Days

Once again....im left alone to rot...
This will never change...
I find myself lost in a world of pain...
I have become beyond depressed...
Beyond anger....
Beyond emotions....
Beyond everything....

Almost to the point of numbness....
Screaming myself to sleep each night...
Unable to think straight anymore....
Hating this life more and more...
Wanting it to be over already....
I lost everything i had...
I lost the will to live...
I lost myself in Depression...
I lost my emotions...
Thеy are running wild...
I cannot control myself...
Trying to find a gun....
A razorblade won't work....
Lеt me put an end to this..
Once and for all...

Why continue on Contemplating..
Whether to live or die...
Why not just end it already..
Why not just waste this pathetic life..
That was already wasted to begin with..
The gun is ready to kill..