Talking Cat Blues Will Varley

Last night, when I couldn't sleep
I was scrolling through my news feed
Reading everyone's crap and watching viral videos
I was looking at some wedding photographs
I looked at them for an hour and a half
Till I realised they were all of people I didn't know

My girlfriend got up for work
She looked at me like I was dirt
She said "You're lazy, you're ruining my life and you're getting fat"
She said "I know you wanna spend another day in bed
But I need you to take the cat to the vet
And I'm leaving you
And I'm never coming back"

As she slammed the door I shouted back
"What's the problem with the cat?"
Well, I got outta bed
Emptied the tank
Went downstairs in my pants
And the cat was singing at the breakfast bar
Drinkin' my Gin and playin' my guitar
Smokin' my cigars
Wearin' my bras
Singing Kanye West songs
He was singing "I'm so great, yes it's true
I'm so great and I'm better than you and
I am essentially a god"