Gus: The Theatre Cat Ian McKellen

[Verse 1: Ian McKellen]
Gus is the Cat at the theatre door
My name, as I ought to have told you before
Is really Asparagus, but that's such a fuss to pronounce
That they usually call me just Gus
My coat's very shag, I'm thin as a rake
And I suffer from palsy which makes my paw shake
Yet I was in my youth quite the smartest of cats
Though no longer a terror to mice or to rats

[Verse 2: Ian McKellen]
For I'm not the cat that I was in my prime
Though my name was quite famous, they say in my time
And whenever I join my friends at their club
Which takes place at the back of the neighbouring pub
I love to regale them if someone else pays
With anecdotes drawn from my palmiest days

[Refrain: Ian McKellen]
For I once was a star of the highest degree
I have acted with Irving, I've acted with Tree
And I like to relate my success on the halls
When the gallery once gave me seven cat calls
But my grandest creation, as I love to tell
Was Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell