Somebody Get My Mom Bowling for Soup

[Intro]
Woke up today
In a van
Traded my pillow
For a Miller Lite can
And in two more days
I lose the guitar
That I hawked

[Verse 1]
Slurped down a beer
Then one more
Twelve ounces later
I was outside your door
And the pebble I threw
Was probably more like a rock

[Pre-Chorus]
Then I fell
Skinned my knee
Broke my glasses
Got stung by a bee
I lost my wallet
And my car keys too
And to make matters worse
I'm coming down with the flu