Westward Ho! Massive Letdown Half Man Half Biscuit

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Girl of my dreams says she's gonna pick me up in the morning
Gonna head south-west, spend two weeks living in the sunshine
We've got the best room booked in the best hotel on the seafront
Hard-boiled eggs on a beach with a Blue Flag status

Westward Ho!
Westward Ho!

Fairground bound gonna have a little tussle with a claw crane
She meanwhile may like to see what's going on in Northam
A Devon cream tea around half past three will be splendid
Crazy golf with a Swedish couple we befriended

Westward Ho!
Westward Ho!

Why is my fortnight suddenly coming to a standstill?
And why is Frank Ifield jumping up and down on a windmill?
And why is my girl getting married to a plasterer from Bacup?
Phoebus sinks and it all goes dark and then I wake up

Westward Ho!
Westward Ho!
Westward Ho!
(What a letdown)
(What a letdown)
(What a letdown)
(What a letdown)
Westward Ho!
(What a letdown)
(What a letdown)
(What a letdown)
(What a letdown)