[Verse]
I was I
You were you
And now we're only we
We are one
Who were two
Or we had better be
"I now pronounce you man and wife"
Are magic words like "Open Sesame
But though they made you mine for life
It only shows how little you know of it
I know a pair who made quite a go of it
He was a man who was very fond of, women
She was a girl who was very fond of men
She had a taste for both corpulent and slim men
He wouldn't look at a lady under ten
She went abroad just to find a man to marry
He went abroad just to find himself a wife
She didn't want any Tom or Dick or Harry
He sought a mate who'd be true to him for life
She fell in love with the angle of his eyebrow
He fell in love with the dimple on her knee
And when they wed
He went around with other women
And she went with other men
And that is he and she!
He always said, "I would like to have a daughter."
She always said, "I would like to have a son."
She took to kids like a duckling takes to water
He always thought having babies would be fun
He told her this on the very day he met her
She said, "The wish is the father to the sport."
He bought a house, in the nursery he set her
She helped the stork make his annual report
He won renown as the father of a squadron
She won awards for her prolificacy
And just because
And just because they loved their children
They got married after all
And that is he and she!
She was so pure as the snow before it's driven
He never smoked and he never touched a drop
When she said "Boo" she would ask to be forgiven
When he would swim he would always wear the top
She wore no rouge though she had a bad complexion
He always prayed every time he went to bed
She was so kind that she hated vivisection
He loved his ma and he swore he' d never wed
She was so chaste that it made her very nervous
He loved to go to the vicarage for tea
And when they died
And when they died and went to Heaven
All the angels moved to Hell
And that is he and she!
I was I
You were you
And now we're only we
We are one
Who were two
Or we had better be
"I now pronounce you man and wife"
Are magic words like "Open Sesame
But though they made you mine for life
It only shows how little you know of it
I know a pair who made quite a go of it
He was a man who was very fond of, women
She was a girl who was very fond of men
She had a taste for both corpulent and slim men
He wouldn't look at a lady under ten
She went abroad just to find a man to marry
He went abroad just to find himself a wife
She didn't want any Tom or Dick or Harry
He sought a mate who'd be true to him for life
She fell in love with the angle of his eyebrow
He fell in love with the dimple on her knee
And when they wed
He went around with other women
And she went with other men
And that is he and she!
He always said, "I would like to have a daughter."
She always said, "I would like to have a son."
She took to kids like a duckling takes to water
He always thought having babies would be fun
He told her this on the very day he met her
She said, "The wish is the father to the sport."
He bought a house, in the nursery he set her
She helped the stork make his annual report
He won renown as the father of a squadron
She won awards for her prolificacy
And just because
And just because they loved their children
They got married after all
And that is he and she!
She was so pure as the snow before it's driven
He never smoked and he never touched a drop
When she said "Boo" she would ask to be forgiven
When he would swim he would always wear the top
She wore no rouge though she had a bad complexion
He always prayed every time he went to bed
She was so kind that she hated vivisection
He loved his ma and he swore he' d never wed
She was so chaste that it made her very nervous
He loved to go to the vicarage for tea
And when they died
And when they died and went to Heaven
All the angels moved to Hell
And that is he and she!
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