Calgone Incubus

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[Intro]
On my way home
Police car pulled me over

[Verse 1]
After they left, I puttered out of gas
AAA came, but my card was expired
I had to walk home, and of course, it rained half the time
I tried to get some shut-eye, then I was abducted
They put cold things in my butt
They sampled a bit of my DNA
They left me on top of my sheets
I dreamt I went potty, then woke up drenched in me

[Pre-Chorus 1]
This day sucked the hardest ever

[Chorus]
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today
A little bit less than nothing would go my way

[Verse 2]
I got up to toss my soiled sheets
The hallway was dark and I stubbed my big toe
It was then that I sensed the irony burning me
Then I heard the voice say
"Come sail aboard the S.S. Nepenthe"