Rock ’n’ Roll Nerd Tim Minchin

He doesn't have a problem with drugs
He just doesn't get them
He's fine that his mates have tattoos
But he thinks they'll regret them
He likes going to pubs
But he hates when the music's too loud
He tends not to go to rock concerts
Cause he can't stand the crowds
But all he's ever wanted to be
Is a rock star on Rage or MTV
But he knows that it's not fucking likely
He's just turned thirty

He knows that he will always be
A rock'n'roll nerd
He'll keep writing songs the world will never hear
And though they won't be heard
He'll just keep writing
Oh yeah

But you see the problem is
He always dreamt of being a star
But he learned piano instead of guitar
Which in the '90s didn't get you very far
So while all the other kids were learning Stairway
He was the piano to their forte
But he was convinced one day
He'd rock their fucking asses
Be an icon for the disenfranchised masses
And grow his hair long
And rebel against the state
But just for now that'd have to wait
Cause he's running late for his morning classes