There simply is no better man
Than good ol' David Letterman
And no one gets Julia Roberts’ face redder than
A flirty David Letterman
He’s leaving after 30 years
And you know he will be missed
If you like gapped-toothed men in double-breasted suits
He’s number one on your top-ten list
He won’t have to pick up the phone anymore
When Les Moonves calls him up
He'll finally have time to take Jay Leno out for coffee
Then secretly pee in his cup
There simply is no better man
Than good ol' David Letterman
And no one makes my mother wetter than
David Letterman
Seems like yesterday when I was 14
And you looked like a freshman at Ball State
Now your hairpiece is full of grey
And I’m fucking 48
I can’t believe at night when I’m watching Stephen Colbert
You’ll be tucked in the bed under the sheets
Pets with stupid tricks will have no place to go
While Paul Schafer and the band sell crack on the streets
Than good ol' David Letterman
And no one gets Julia Roberts’ face redder than
A flirty David Letterman
He’s leaving after 30 years
And you know he will be missed
If you like gapped-toothed men in double-breasted suits
He’s number one on your top-ten list
He won’t have to pick up the phone anymore
When Les Moonves calls him up
He'll finally have time to take Jay Leno out for coffee
Then secretly pee in his cup
There simply is no better man
Than good ol' David Letterman
And no one makes my mother wetter than
David Letterman
Seems like yesterday when I was 14
And you looked like a freshman at Ball State
Now your hairpiece is full of grey
And I’m fucking 48
I can’t believe at night when I’m watching Stephen Colbert
You’ll be tucked in the bed under the sheets
Pets with stupid tricks will have no place to go
While Paul Schafer and the band sell crack on the streets
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