Epic Rap Battle Rhett and Link

[Verse 1: Link & Rhett]
First off, I wanna tell you I enjoyed the pizza
Well, it really wasn't great, but it allowed me to meet-cha
I'd like your number, but I'm not gonna leave a big tip to get it
That means he's cheap and pathetic, and if you date him, you'll regret it

[Verse 2: Rhett & Link]
Twenty-three percent from me communicates
I'm generous, not desperate, and I can calculate
Is she supposed to be impressed?
Well, if you wanna battle, be my guest

[Verse 3: Link]
I'm a computer programmer and a cubicle dweller
I disabled Spell Check cause I'm a stellar speller
When I write an e-mail that includes an attachment
I never hit "send" before I've attached it

[Verse 4: Rhett]
Your job is a bore, I keep it hardcore
Selling knives and insurance from door to door
You're reflecting on a water cooler conversation
I'm giving an incredible knife demonstration

[Skit: Rhett & Link]
May I interest you in some accidental death coverage, or a hard boiled egg slicer?
I can change your computer wallpaper to a tropical beach scene
Egg slicer