Funny How Things Turn Out Victoria Wood

Of all the letters that make me ill
The rates, demand, a telephone bill
The ones that bring me really low
Are the ones from girls I used to know

The girls at school you didn't like much
Have a terrible urge to keep in touch
Those of whom you were not fond
Relentlessly wield the Basildon Bond

Remember Bobbie Field?
I won the drama shield
An embryo actress and terribly thin
Very ambitious, determined to win
Auditioned for Rada, and didn't get in
Funny how things turn out

I got my Equity Card
But the life was awfully hard
I advertised cat food for years, which was hell
Did Equus at Windsor which didn't go well
And I asked for my key at the Crossroads Motel
Funny how things turn out

Though my kids are three, four and five
I still keep my mind alive
I've started to write and I'm making some headway
With humourous verses for Radio Medway
My faith in myself is still devout