Cabinet Battle #1 Juliet & Izzy

[WASHINGTON]
Ladies and Jefferson! You coulda been anywhere in the world tonight, but you’re here with us in New York City! HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEORGE–

The issue on the table: Secretary Hamilton’s plan to assume state debt and establish a national bank. Secretary Jefferson, you have the floor, sir

[JEFFERSON]
‘Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’
I fought for ideals; I shouldn’t settle for less
These are wise words, enterprising men quote ‘em
Don’t act surprised, you guys, cuz I wrote ‘em
HOW!
But Hamilton forgets
His financial situation is, uh, state’s debts
Now, place your bets as to who that benefits:
...Symbol- by Hamilala!

[HAMILTON]
Not–not true!

[JEFFERSON]
Ooh, if the shoe fits, wear it
If New York’s in debt—
Why should Virginia bear it? Um! Our debts are paid, I’m afraid
Don’t tax the South cuz we got it made in the shade
In Virginia, we plant seeds in the ground
We create. You just wanna move money around
This financial plan is an outrageous demand
And it’s too many damn pages for any man to understand
Stand with me in the land of the free
And pray to God we never see Hamilton’s candidacy
Look, when Britain taxed our tea, we got our whiskey! (Wait, no)
Imagine what gon’ happen when you––
(Wheeze laugh in slow motion)

[MICKEY MOUSE EARS GUY]
THAT'S MY ALCOHOL!!!

[JEFFERSON, spoken]
(laughing) We got our whiskey!

[HAMILTON]
Thomas. You have a nice declaration–
We’re running a new nation!
Would you like to join us, or stay mellow
Doin’ whatever the hell it is you do in Monticello?
If we assume the debts, the union gets
A new line of credit, a financial diuretic
How do you not get it? Are you, and––
The union gets a boost. I'd rather give you a sediment!
A civics lesson from a slaver. Hey neighbor
Your debts are paid cuz you don’t pay for labor
“Yeah, we plant seeds in the ground! We create.”
Yeah, keep ranting
You wanna make money more

[SOME GUY, spoken]
We know who's really doing the planting. Lower a glass to slavery!
[HAMILTON]
––man?
We almost died in the trench
While you were off getting high with the French
Thomas Jefferson, always hesitant with the President
Man—there–eh, he doesn't get it!
Madison, ah, mad as a medicine man, ah MOM!
Damn! Damn! Damn
Sittin’ down. I'm not. Soup. Yeah
Hey, turn around, bend over, I’ll show you
Where my shoe fits

[HAMILTON, spoken]
On your back!

(Laughter.)

[WASHINGTON]
Excuse me? Madison, Jefferson, take a walk! Hamilton, take a WALLK!

[HAMILTON}
Take a "wallk'?!

[MADISON]
You don’t have the votes
[JEFFERSON/MADISON]
You don’t have the votes

[JEFFERSON]
Ha! Where's my glasses?

[JEFFERSON/MADISON]
You’re gonna need congressional approval and you don’t have the votes

[JEFFERSON]
Stop clothing me!
Such a blunder sometimes I think I wonder why I even bring the thunder

[MADISON]
Why he even brings the thunder…
WOAH!

[WASHINGTON]
You want to pull yourself together?

[HAMILTON]
Yeah...I mean, I’m sorry
Burgers–

[WASHINGTON]
Young man, I’m from Virginia, so watch your tone!

[HAMILTON]
I'm myself and I argued with myself and––
Watch your tone

[HAMILTON]
No

[WASHINGTON]
You need to convince more folks

[HAMILTON]
We need votes!

(Random cut.)

[HAMILTON]
You started with nothing, man

[WASHINGTON]
Well, it's easy young man, living is harder!

[SOUNDTRACK HAMILTON]
They’re being intransigent

[SOUNDTRACK WASHINGTON]
You have to find a compromise

[SOUNDTRACK HAMILTON]
But they don’t have a plan

[HAMILTON]
They just hate mine!

[WASHINGTON]
Convince them otherwise

[HAMILTON]
How do I convince them otherwise?

[WASHINGTON]
I guess we'll–gonna remove you from the government!
Figure it out, Alexander. That is an order from your commander
You can't have this hat back until you figure it out!