[Intro]
And everyone should get along
Okay, children, quiet down, quiet down
Children, I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
His name is Mr. Shady
Children, quiet down please
Brian, don't throw that (Shut up!)
Mr. Shady will be your new substitute while Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia (He's got AIDS!)
Good luck, Mr. Shady!
[Verse 1]
Hi there, little boys and girls! (Fuck you!)
Today we're gonna learn how to poison squirrels
But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?)
Say hi, Bob ("Hi, Bob!")
Bob's thirty and still lives with his mom
And he don't got a job 'cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
But his twelve-year-old brother looks up to him an awful lot
And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot
And wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock
When it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog
Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping block (Ahh!)
And even if they escaped and they got the cops
The ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge
'Til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job
When she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk
But Stacey knew it was Bob and said, "Knock it off!"
But Bob wouldn't knock it off, 'cause he's crazy and off his rocker
Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka
You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a doctor
He grabbed Stace by the legs as he chopped it off her
And dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her
But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander
They never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner
And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana
And what it might do to you
So see if the squirrels want it—it's bad for you
And everyone should get along
Okay, children, quiet down, quiet down
Children, I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
His name is Mr. Shady
Children, quiet down please
Brian, don't throw that (Shut up!)
Mr. Shady will be your new substitute while Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia (He's got AIDS!)
Good luck, Mr. Shady!
[Verse 1]
Hi there, little boys and girls! (Fuck you!)
Today we're gonna learn how to poison squirrels
But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?)
Say hi, Bob ("Hi, Bob!")
Bob's thirty and still lives with his mom
And he don't got a job 'cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
But his twelve-year-old brother looks up to him an awful lot
And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot
And wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock
When it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog
Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping block (Ahh!)
And even if they escaped and they got the cops
The ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge
'Til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job
When she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk
But Stacey knew it was Bob and said, "Knock it off!"
But Bob wouldn't knock it off, 'cause he's crazy and off his rocker
Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka
You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a doctor
He grabbed Stace by the legs as he chopped it off her
And dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her
But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander
They never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner
And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana
And what it might do to you
So see if the squirrels want it—it's bad for you
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